I realize that our moods can be so easily swayed by the circumstances around us. The coffee maker breaks. The wifi is out. The dog threw up on the rug. The effort it takes to get all of the to-do things done – especially with the extra layer of stressors from Covid. It all adds up, piles on top of us, and our nerves get frayed. What can we do in these instances? How can we maintain sanity, peace and not let our fuses 'short out?'
When this happens to me, because it certainly can, I’m learning to just stop. Right then in that moment. Despite how much you still have to do and how eager you may be to solve all of the problems, just stop.
I repeat myself, STOP.
Take a deep breath. And then a second, and then a third.
Ok. Now, you can begin to think clearly. And remember gratitude.Yes, even in this rough terrible moment, whatever it might be for you.
Hear me out for a second. As uncomfortable as it might be, just realize how everything could always be worse. It truly could. If your wifi is indeed out, well, you could be unable to even have wifi (I could't get it at my farmhouse, for example. Still can't - yep.). Or worse, not even have access to a computer, and there are so many others who do not have one and are in dire need. Or, for example, if your coffee maker broke, and that's your most favorite thing that you love in the morning. Well, true, annoying. But not a big deal. So before you let it ruin your morning, realize that you could make it one day without a cup of coffee in the morning. You can fix the machine later, when you're less stressed, or simply buy instant for having it on-hand if this tends to happen repeatedly. Kind of sounds silly to let something little like this bother you, when you really think about it, right?
That's the truth ... most of these things seem so big in the moment, but many times, they're not. They're frustrations - and whether big or small, they are a part of life .... so it's up to us to not let them steal our joy or our emotional well-being.
Remember that things will eventually be back to normal, back to working, and just trust ... you will get it all done eventually.
In these instances, you owe it to yourself and to those around you to self-soothe. To self-regulate. To self-correct. And that’s what the "work" is in all of this – and it’s your "work" to do.
When we realize that we are at the brink of coming unglued, we owe it to ourselves to not let it spill over and affect ‘everything.’ It is easy to do – especially in the world we’re in, and especially if we’re living with people in close quarters, because they don’t deserve to be the brunt of your frustration.
Make the conscious choice now, in advance, that during these instances when the fuse is short, to simply pause. And when you pause, that's when you need to breathe - deeply! Then, choose your reaction – and make it a better one. This makes the world of difference not only for ourselves, but for the nerves and anxieties of everyone around us, and the energy that surrounds you.
We can’t succumb to negativity that bubbles up within us. We can’t succumb to the frustrations and or allow ourselves to have potential outbursts. It creates a ripple effect in your environment that then creates stress for not only yourself, but also for everyone else around you.
There is always a positive reaction you could choose to make, just as sure as there is a negative one, so ‘lean into’ the positive – even when you’ve about had it!
Here are a few tips to self-soothe and make yourself feel better in this situation.
- Stop, then it takes about three consecutive long, slow deep breaths to relax, calm down your nervous system and have this true effect on it. Here's the trick - there's a 'count' involved. If you breathe in to a count of four, hold it for seven counts, then slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of eight, this will do it. Do this three times, then breathe regularly.
- Close your eyes and take a 'time out.' Try this for at least 5 minutes. Too busy? Maybe, but this is when you need it most!
- When you take a few minutes out, play some soothing music to create a gentle atmosphere and reset the vibe of the room and your energy. I like spa, meditative music. You can download for free my friend Jeffrey Parks' music (on Spotify) that has great binary beats and soothing ambient tunes.
- Take a walk outside and look up, high into the sky and take in the clouds. The earth is beautiful. The sky is gorgeous. We are alive. Take it in!
- Eat Fresh Foods that De-Stress or Ease Anxiety. Try a clementine, in season during winter months. Why? High cortisol creates stress, and Vitamin C found in clementines will help decrease cortisol. A side benefit? Clementines also boosts the production of collagen, thus rendering you a crystal-clear, healthy skin. More trivia? They have been called the crown jewel of the citrus world!
RELAXING FARM-SOURCED PRODUCTS:
CBD is the new, or not so new, ingredient found in so many different products these days, and some of them are quite terrific! This is not the same effect as cannibis, but it is soothing and folks are swearing by it as beneficial for all types of ailments, and soothing your emotions. Here are some to consider:
- Winged Relaxation Gummies - designed with a non-drowsy relaxation formula to help calm the mind and unwind during a hectic day.
- Uniquely formulated for women to help unwind from a stressful day
- CBD & other cannabinoids from full-spectrum hemp
- Evening Primrose Oil for hormonal support
- Chamomile and Lemon Balm extracts + L-Theanine to promote mental relaxation and ease tension from stress
- Size: 21 Gummies. 10mg CBD per serving / 21 servings
- NOTE: Made also for sleep, too!
- For Joy Tea is CBD Iced Tea - Farmed on a craft brewery-type CBD farm in Oregon. They take pride in only using organic CBD and organic tea leaves in each beverage. They also take pride in what is not inside their drinks. There are no artificial flavors or even added natural flavors as well as zero and low-calorie sweeteners. It’s a whole product that is beneficial, helping to reduce stress, anxiety, and other common ailments. Flavors are Meyer Lemon Ginger, OG Hint of Sweet, and Strawberry Mint.